Why people have only one child ?
Div Acharya - Lifestyle blogs Author
My partner and I are parents of one child. We are constantly researching to learn more about having and raising a single child. Having said this, my sister and I grew up together. I know what it looks like to have 2 kids in a family..eh?
Families may have an only child for many reasons, that includes:
Personal preference, family planning, financial and emotional or physical health issues, desire to travel, family stress, educational advantages, late marriage, stability, focus, time constraints, fear over pregnancy, advanced age, an illegitimate birth, infertility, divorce, and death of a sibling or parent.
The premature death of one parent also contributed to a small percentage of marriages having only one child until the mid-twentieth century, not to mention the then-rare occurrence of Gay marriages.
Families in general are extremely diverse, and there are few reasons why parents would choose to have only one child.
Because the question presumes that there is a choice, we obviously cannot consider circumstances such as the inability to conceive another child.
However, there are numerous reasons why parents choose to have only one child.
Here are a few of the most important reasons that come to mind for me:
- Children are expensive. let’s face it!Each additional child is going to run the parents about $250,000. Some parents might not think that far ahead, but most good parents are already thinking about college when their kids are entering kindergarten.
- Health/medical conditions. As mentioned in many other answers, this is a big deal. My son has ADHD and her younger years were a tremendous struggle. Not only do children with health issues require a lot more work, but when there is a significant possibility that subsequent children will inherit a similar condition, it really makes you think hard about having another kid.
- Because having one kid is great! Some people love to whine about only children as if they were somehow going to topple society as we know it. Many of these people believe every pseudo-scientific “study” they read on Facebook that suits their argument. There are unique challenges to raising an only child, but there are also unique challenges to raising three or four children. As long as you are taking care of your kids, you should be able to have as many of them as you want, be it one or ten. In some ways, I know my son would benefit from having a sibling, but in other ways it would present a lot of new challenges.
- Population. The world population is growing like crazy. Not everyone feels the need to contribute several more little creatures to this planet.
- Age of parents. Parents are getting older and older. But later in life it can be complicated and dangerous to conceive. Some parents might want to wait until later in life to have a kid, but at some point it becomes too late to keep making babies, or they just don’t have the energy or desire to do so.
- Relationship issues. I haven’t seen this one touched on much in other answers, but I would posit that it’s a big factor. With the prevalence of divorce and other complex family issues, two parents who were deeply in love and purposefully had their first kid with the intent of spending their lives together may find their relationship on the rocks a few years later; obviously at that point having another kid isn’t a wise choice.
- The first Child one wasn’t planned to begin with. Okay, another reason that hasn’t been touched on much. Let’s face it, most kids aren’t planned. They just happen. If you didn’t plan on having one kid, why would you plan on the second? Even if you love kids, sometimes it takes the nudge of fate (and maybe some bad choices or a few too many drinks) to turn it into a reality.
Although two+-child families appear to be normal, the truth is that many parents decide to have just one child.
You can put all your energy into one child, prioritise career growth and voyage, and less stress on finance with one child.
On the contrary, you may want more kids, but you can’t afford them or you can’t have them due to health problems. Or maybe it felt like the right option “one and done” always.
Regardless of the situation, it is a personal journey not to be defended with well-intentioned relatives or complete strangers who ask questions about your next baby.
Here are five reasons to be a one-child family, straight from snippets after talking to parents who are Just one-child parents.
Related: Are single child parents happier
You’re not sure about having another kid — yet or ever.
While most couples feel that they are done with one child but living in the midst of baby booming friends and colleagues can introduce them to a nagging uncertain idea Like “Would we regret not to try for a second? Would we regret that we couldn’t try for a second?
What if we have a second miracle baby, and that raising the new baby isn’t as easy and does that sound selfish and heartless? Would we regret the second one?”The Mix of All these uncertain questions eventually leads you to decide that one child was the best choice for your family.
You just don’t want more children — period.
One of the most absurd reasons people don’t have more kids because they just don’t want more kids. period.
For Instance, My partner and I decided to have just one kid. Even though we are still in the kid bearing age group and can afford to have 2+ kids ( Financially and Emotionally), We just decide to have just one child.
It’s just our personal preference and mainly dint want the kid now at the state where we are growing our business and career.
If I’m being truly honest, my biggest reason is this: I don’t want to,”. “I never say that when people ask because I don’t want to sound selfish; instead, I just brush it off with something like, “Our daughter is just so perfect, we couldn’t do any better if we tried!”
But really, I don’t want to. I want to enjoy my time with my daughter without having to split it with another child.
I want to save for her college and take her on vacations. I want to have the mental energy to keep growing in my career field. I want to have the time to sit quietly by myself and read a book!
People occasionally tell me that I’ll change my mind, but the more time I spend with my husband and our smart, curious, sweet girl, the more it feels like just the three of us is exactly what this family unit was meant to be.”
Related: Is it selfish to have just one child
You’re career Focussed
It’s entirely possible, of course, to thrive as a working mother and lean into your industry no matter how many children you have.
But there’s no doubt that children in the plural sense make that path more complicated, and having one kid frees you up in certain ways you may not otherwise experience.
Many couples would have worked hard to build their business or career. And they might not have large extended families to take off their Second child.
Adding another child into such a couple that have an already chaotic schedule just seems less than ideal.
It may not be what you imagined to be, but with a ton of soul searching, they would decide that this is their little family and it feels just right.”
You’re a single parent.
Families come in all shapes and sizes, and it’s easy to forget that single parents may not be able to have more children for a variety of reasons.
For example, if a lady spent her twenties saving for graduate school and working for Fortune 500 companies.
She realised she wanted a family in her 30s, despite being divorced and without a partner to raise a child with, so she took advantage of her fertility and committed to the choice of being a single mum.
In this scenario, there is no way the lady wants another child and a happy tone with her one child happy bundle.
You went through infertility treatment or suffered a miscarriage.
Many, many women are in the same boat, which makes the prospect of having more than one baby all the more painful because of the difficulty they’ve already encountered.
When a couple goes through miscarriages and unsuccessful IUIs, and finally have a child It’s impossible for such a couple to think of having any more kids.The trauma of miscarriage and the unpredictability of schedules really helped shape your decision to have only one child.
Only children, predictably, report having a better relationship with their parents. This is true in both childhood and adulthood.
They even get along better with their parents than firstborns. As infants, these children receive personalised attention from their parents.
However, this does not always imply that as an adult, you will spend more time with your parents.
Parents of the only child are much happier than parents with more than one child or no child at all.
How to cope with only having one child
How to cope with only having one child-Tips to come to terms with only having one child
Are single child parents happier
Women who have only one child appear to be the happiest. At the very least, having one child is preferable to having no children at all. However, it’s possible that “only” is the sweet spot.
Is it selfish to have only one child?
In fact, a growing number of couples are considering having only one kid, and some have no desire to have children at all.Read on…
