How to cope with only having one child- Effective & solid Tips
When someone asks if I have “just” one child, I squirm. The question implies that something – or, more specifically, someone – is missing.
Although two+-child families appear to be normal, the truth is that many parents decide to have just one child.
You can put all your energy into one child, prioritise career growth and voyage, and less stress on finance with one child.
On the contrary, society still thinks that having one child is not good for both child and parents. Fueled by sugar and curiosity the moms are being asked this question “When are you planning on having another child?”
Regardless of the situation, it is a personal journey not to be defended with well-intentioned relatives or complete strangers who ask questions about your next baby.
Here are five tips to cope with the “only one child “stigma.
Related: Are single child parents happier
1.Accept and Embrace
After giving birth to my now 10-and-a-half-year-old, I was convinced I was “one and done.” Only a few months after my child was born, My Husband’s grandparents would say flatly, “Start working on number two now!”
My husband and I, on the other hand, just laughed to ourselves because, well, that wasn’t going to happen!
For all the reasons you’ve heard before and more, we were set with our threesome pack but the list is not convincing:
1. We are young parents. I was 26 and my husband was 26 when my daughter was born( she is now 10 yo)
2. It was not hard to get pregnant the first time , happened just naturally.
3. Children are expensive. period. Hubby works in Corporate Company and I run a successful blogging Business . We are free spirits , Love travelling and want to be able to fully provide for one child.
4. My husband only wanted one child, especially after a rough sibling experience with his two sisters.
5. We both felt blessed and happy with one baby, which was a handful in itself!
However, with all these un-convincing reasons we still wanted to be ” One and done” parents. We think its much better than having No Child at all..
Related : Pros and Cons of having just One child
2. Stop thinking about the possibility of Another Child
Once you have accepted and Embraced your “One child” decision – Stop thinking about any possibility of another child.
People often wonder “if I’ll only stop thinking about the possibility of another once my childbearing years are well and truly over.
As long as there’s a tiny window of possibility, they often tend to think that are always in some way be actively denying their child a brother or sister.
3. Get a Puppy
You don’t intend to have more than one child? Purchase a dog for them.
According to studies, when an only child receives a dog, they feel less lonely and regard their pet as a sibling.
They learn to “share” their parents’ time and space, as well as to be respectful to another living thing, kind, and loving, just as they would with a sibling.
As a dog owner, you’re probably already aware of the numerous benefits our canine companions provide for us: loyalty, companionship, someone to exercise with, and, of course, being a best friend.
But did you know that having a dog has a lot of advantages for your children as well?
That is correct!
Research suggest there are many research-backed benefits for children when their family adopts a dog.
So, are you convinced that your child requires a dog? There are numerous research-backed advantages to adding a furry friend to your family.
1. Dogs are natural stress-busters to your Kids and family
2. They lure kids outside to play , run and be in the nature
3. Dogs teach kids nurturing skills.
4. Dogs can help a child feel safe.
5. Dogs teach empathy & provide Stability
Yes, they shed, bark, drool, and occasionally stink, but giving a dog a home is one of the most rewarding and special things you can do for yourself, your children, and your health.
4. Make group of same minded couple with Just one child
Whether it is Virtual Group on Facebook/Linkedin or in any other way make friends with like-minded people.
If there are no such Groups on the famous Social media networks like FB create one and call in for like-minded people to join your group.
Look for people who are interested in the same things you are. These people are also more likely to be like you personality-wise.
Here’s how to meet people with similar interests:
- Always look for ways to meet people often
- Go to Meetup.com and see what interests you
- Join local interest-based groups on Facebook
- Start your own group and advertise it on Meetup
- Join extracurricular activities
- Join physical meetups
- Use your mutual interests to start a conversation
5. Stop your Urge to give more
When you stop at one child, the world can be quick to judge – but your internal monologue can be harsher still.
‘I desperately want to give her everything. I just hope that in choosing not to give her more than I can give, that I have given her my best.’
It’s strange to not give your own child the things you loved growing up. A loud, suburban house stacked with kids, laughing, punching, and squealing for food.
For us, having an only child just kind of happened. When we had our daughter, we lived in the UK, where life was so cramped and nuts the thought of adding another human into the mix was inconceivable. It simply didn’t come up.
But now that we have moved back to Australia, the place seems empty without more children. Australia is wider, and we live in a big, double-storey house, so there’s more space to fill. But we still don’t want another child.
Accepting Only Having One Child – How To Be A Happy Family?
The first thing that must be done is to come to terms with the reality of the situation, and the next step is to resolve to only have one kid.
Now is the time to come to the realisation that the number of children is not a measurement of a happy family and that the number of family members who are currently living together is the optimal size for a family.
Surprisingly, social media platforms might be of great assistance with regard to the aforementioned matter.
People from all over the world, each with their own unique set of experiences and interests, congregate on social networks.
This also comprises groups of individuals who have gone through a number of various experiences in their lives at one point or another.
Within these social networks, there are a large number of parent-related groups where members may discuss their perspectives and share their experiences.
Educating one’s relatives on the Matter
Now comes the challenging part, which is having conversations with your family, who will not stop asking you when you are expecting your second child.
To begin, you are under no obligation to provide a response to everyone who asks you that question. This is especially true with regard to the cousins that you talk to through video chat a few times a year on Zoom and perhaps meet in person once a year.
Because they like children of all ages and believe that there is no such thing as having too many grandkids, it is natural for parents and parents-in-law to pose such queries.
And to tell you the truth, they probably understand your choice more than they let on. It’s just that sometimes it’s hard for them to accept that they’ll only have one grandchild in the future.
How to engage the single child at home
Remain optimistic: There are so many assumptions, opinions, and misunderstandings regarding the difficulties of having a single kid that, as a parent of a single child, you may become discouraged.
Just concentrate on the good. In school and later in life, lone children perform as well as their sibling counterparts, according to research. On any topic, there are diverse thoughts and perspectives. Follow your instincts and intuition.
Socialize your youngster as early as possible.
Create strong social networks since friends serve as replacements for siblings. Participate in frequent playdates and outings with children of comparable age.
Since an only kid acquires adult language faster, it is essential to surround him or her with peers of the same age.
Do not overprotect: It is only natural for a parent to intervene if only kid is involved in an argument or conflict with peers.
Stop playing the role of mediator all the time. Let the youngster handle his or her own problems.
As kids mature, counsel them on how to resolve conflicts, but refrain from intervening.
Don’t overindulge: In order to relieve your own guilt as a parent, you may occasionally indulge in the purchase of an expensive item. Always ask yourself, “If I had another child, would I do the same thing?”
Children are the only ones who feel the pressure to achieve intrinsically; they experience it without parental encouragement.
If a youngster has a unique ability, such as playing an instrument, it should be encouraged, but it should be noted that this is a one-off activity.
Encourage a child who is an only child to participate in more group activities, as they will make more friends and not always be the centre of attention.
Since the difficulties of having a single kid are fewer than those of raising several children, as parents we prefer to do more for them.
Encourage a single kid to do things independently, such as cleaning his or her room, putting clothes in the washing machine, and assisting with basic household duties.
If your Urge to give more is too much to handle you can try to foster/adopt kids. In that way, you can take care of more kids along with yours and your urge to give more will be fulfilled.
You could be fostering children who go to the same school as your children or play in the same sports team as them.
Ultimately, as a foster carer, you become a tremendous and well respected asset to your community.
Being a foster parent can be a rewarding and positive experience.
As a foster parent, you’re giving children a safe, nurturing environment to grow up in. Children develop and learn best in safe, nurturing environments.
You can also enjoy the experience of raising children, getting to know them, and being close to them as they grow and develop.
Having said this, for any family, welcoming a foster child into your home is a massive step, so it’s important that you take the time to decide whether fostering is right for you and the rest of your family.
It takes great courage to even start the fostering journey, and that’s why we applaud and support each person who wants to change a child’s life for the better.