Difference between having one child and two

difference between having one child and two
Div  Acharya

Div Acharya

Div is the founder and blogging Growth strategist/coach at Digitallydiv Approach & pepLifestyle who is enthusiastic about assisting women in establishing their digital empires and establishing a blog that enables them to turn their hobbies into a lucrative business.

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Difference between having one child and two

Will having another child really make you happy? Your first child brought you joy, so will having another bring you even more joy? 

This is something I often ponder. Is it advisable for me to have a second child?

Fortunately, research has shown how our lives alter when we have another child. 

Learn how having a second child affects your happiness, meaning in life, marriage, family life, old age, health, and expenditures.

 

Pros and Cons of having a Single child

 It’s all about your kid. Being only child they get all the attention. The kid doesn’t have to compete for attention.

  • They develop a deep bond of love and friendship with their parents.
  • Your single child may be lonely during the school years. If not a very Outgoing child, they might have difficulty establishing and maintaining friendships. Plus, single kids may take friendship for granted.
  • Since the  only child, parents can have a tendency to be overprotective.
  • It was very difficult when both parent became ill and elderly. An only child has to deal with their medical issues alone. It can be stressful.

Pros and Cons of having a two or More Kids

Financially, much cheaper to have one child. However, if you space two-child apart by 3 years, you can pass down all the expensive stuff like bikes etc.

  • You children have in the house and built in playmates. 
  • The are each others best friend. They always have someone they can talk to about deeply personal issues, My youngest talked to the older son about everything about school work, to cars.
  • There will share the burden of taking care of their parents when they become elderly.
  • Kids will develop better social skills and better conflict management abilities.

It sounds like you’re worried that your only child will have a lonely childhood?

Trust me, once your child gets into school- which I’m sure you’re planning already,  your kid will have loads of other kids to spend their days with.

As the years go by, your kid will be spending more hours at school and will get busier than you can imagine now.

If you want to instil the thought of ‘sharing’ in your child, (which is a reason I’ve heard many people mention), she can always practice that with her cousins, neighbours, friends or other underprivileged children around you.

“Only children” report having fewer overall friends as adults, but the same amount of close friendships. They also spend roughly the same amount of time interacting with friends, neighbours, and coworkers. Perhaps they seek more meaningful friendship and spend more time with fewer people.

They also do not suffer in old age. 

The morale of older persons who interacted with siblings frequently was similar to that of those who did not communicate with siblings at all. 

In a previous research, time spent with friends in old age was compared to time spent with family in old life. 

They discovered that spending time with friends is the sole way to improve one’s life contentment.

Despite the fact that we live in contemporary society, there are still some stigmas associated with being an only child:

The Only children were described as pampered, selfish/self-absorbed, maladjusted, domineering, antisocial, and lonely by their parents.

It is the belief of those who subscribe to the notion that only children are pampered because they are accustomed to receiving anything they desire from their parents, including full attention. 

The fear is that kids may develop into self-centered persons who are solely concerned with themselves and their own requirements.

It is also thought that a lack of connection with a sibling contributes to feelings of loneliness and antisocial tendencies.

Some believe that these impacts last throughout adulthood, with only children experiencing difficulties getting along with coworkers, exhibiting hypersensitivity to criticism as they get older, and displaying poor social skills as a result of their upbringing.

However, while this idea (along with birth order hypotheses) has found its way into popular culture, it is also generally baseless in scientific terms. 

  • He or she is downhearted. He or she is conceited. He or she is a privileged jerk.
  • He or she is preoccupied with himself or herself.He/she is always looking for attention.
  • He or she is more inclined to engage in imaginative play.
  • He or she has a hard time interacting with others.
  • He or she has a higher chance of being unwell.Only children, on the other hand, do not always display these characteristics.

In more recent study, it has been demonstrated that being an only child does not always distinguish you from a classmate who has siblings. Furthermore, the absence of a brother or a sister does not imply that you would become self-absorbed or antisocial.

However, there are significant benefits and drawbacks to having only one child:

Women are happiest with one child

Women who have only one child appear to be the happiest. 

At the very least, having one child is preferable to having no children at all. However, it’s possible that “only” is the sweet spot.

One study looked at identical twins between the ages of 25 and 45. 

Researchers could disregard genetic explanations for having fewer children or being unhappy by comparing twins. They discovered that a woman’s first kid made her happier. However, each successive child had a negative impact on her happiness.

 

Could it be that having an only kid allows us to appreciate the wonders of parenthood while minimising the hard work and stress?

 

Another study investigated how a woman’s personality influenced her satisfaction as her family grew. Is it true that “traditional” women are happier with two children than “modern” women?

They don’t appear to do so. These ladies, regardless of their personality types, were happiest when they had one child. 

All women’s well-being scores dropped after having a second child.

Perhaps the most significant distinction is not going from one to two or two to three children, but from zero to one—from nonparent to parent.

According to Kei Nomaguchi, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University, 

“Having just one kid [makes] many elements of adults’ lives—how time, money, emotion, and thought are spent, and how new social networks are formed—child-centered.” “If you want to live an adult-centered life, enjoy expensive leisure activities, appreciate personal connections with your spouse, and both you and your partner want to dedicate your time to your jobs, having no children would be ideal.”

Mothers, of course, stand to lose more than dads when they have children. 

Having children is more stressful for women than for men, and mothers suffer professionally in ways that dads do not (though parents’ satisfaction appears to differ depending on their country’s regulations regarding paid leave and child care). 

In this case, too, zero is good.

 

No matter what your expectations are, balancing the demands of several children is hard. Women, on the other hand, frequently assume greater parental obligations. 

Is it possible that having another child will make a man happier?

Men also benefit from having one child rather than two.

With their first kid, men, too, experience a rise in happiness. Fathers with one child reported feeling more fulfilled in life than fathers without children. 

The second kid, on the other hand, merely added to the delight of “traditional” males. Men who were classed as “modern” did not receive any benefits.

With the birth of another child, do “modern” fathers take up more diapers and dishes? Or it’s possible that traditional males simply like parenthood more.

On the other side, scientists studying identical twins also looked at their dads. 

They discovered that having children had little impact on their happiness. Regardless of how many children they had, their life satisfaction remained consistent. When it came to family life, marriage was the only option.

Another baby takes a toll on your marriage

The bad news is that parents are less satisfied with their marriages than non-parents. With each successive child, marriage pleasure falls. 

The effect is largest in mothers of newborns, although it can be detected in people of various ages and genders.

This detrimental effect has been replicated in other investigations. The lowest levels of satisfaction with their spouse are reported by parents of preschoolers.

 

According to one study, children spend less time on “companionate activities.” 

Parents spent less quality time with each other with each child. In that study, it was the lack of couple time, not the children, that harmed the marriage the most.

Having two children is good for your health

The bad news is that parents are less satisfied with their marriages than non-parents. With each successive child, marriage pleasure falls. 

The effect is largest in mothers of newborns, although it can be detected in people of various ages and genders.

This detrimental effect has been replicated in other investigations. The lowest levels of satisfaction with their spouse are reported by parents of preschoolers.

According to one study, children spend less time on “companionate activities.” 

Parents spent less quality time with each other with each child. In that study, it was the lack of couple time, not the children, that harmed the marriage the most.

Should you have a second child?

Obviously, your decision has an impact on more than just you and your spouse. 

The decision to have a second child will have a significant impact on your first child’s life. I’m quite interested in learning about the repercussions of being an only child, and that will be the subject of my next post.

See also The Only Child: Research-Based Answers to All Your Questions

There are, of course, other factors to consider. Having a second child takes time away from other life aspirations. Each child contributes to the ever-increasing toll humans are taking on the environment. 

Personally, I’m concerned about the regret I’ll experience once I’m too old to change my mind.

Considering everything, I have yet to hear a parent express regret for having a second child.

What would you do in this situation?

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